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From: Robert Elz <kre@munnari.OZ.AU>
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Date: Thu, 22 Aug 2002 18:26:25 +0700


Dear Mr Still

Good tidings to you and all your staff for the festive season ahead (Christmas).
Now to the crux of the matter-in-hand: I am a fully qualified Santa Claus and am wondering whether you might consider me to run my own "Santa's Grotto" in your store.
But WAIT! You're probably thinking: "What makes him so special?"
Well, first of all, I have made several changes to the characterisation of Father Christmas. Rather than greeting the children with shouts of "Ho, ho, ho!" I prefer to whisper the phrase "Dependence is not unfathomable in this cruel world we live in". In addition, my gifts are ALL hand-made, ranging from felt hoops to vanilla-pod holders.
You will note also, from the enclosed sketch, that I have radically redesigned Santa's outfit and have renamed my character "Lord Buckles". Would you be interested in employing me? I promise NEVER to let you down.
I look forward to hearing from you.

Best wishes
Robin Cooper
[Excerpt from the book: The Timewaster Letters by Robin Cooper]
